Broken

"Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, and plead the widow's cause" Isaiah 1:17.

As I held, kissed, and hugged fatherless children this week, I wondered why there is such a thing when there are more than enough families for them in the world... I looked into their eyes and was trapped by their deep longing to be loved - to know the touch of a mother and encouragement of a father, to tease a sister and be protected by a brother. As I had one of these precious babies cling to me who was sick, small, and simply desperate for human one-on-one attention, I knew I would never be the same. I knew I would never forget their eyes - deep and wise and experienced beyond their months/years, possessing an inner strength by being orphans that most of us will never have to have. I knew I couldn't go back to America and listen to people ask why there are orphans when they have empty rooms in their homes. To ask why there is poverty when they have excess. I knew I wouldn't be able to listen to sermons on how to "be blessed" and never one on the hundreds of passages in the Bible commanding us to care and seek justice for the poor, the oppressed, the afflicted, the fatherless, the widows, the sojourner, and the imprisoned. And how the God who created them loves them, so very much...

I will tell you this: for most of us it is easy to pretend these things don't exist. We have the "freedom" to choose to care or not to care, to be involved or not to be, to adopt/foster or not to, to feed a homeless person or not to, to form relationships with hurting and broken people or not to. To allow ourselves to be pulled from our safe, comfortable, easy world or not to. We have the luxury of planning our lives. We can get an education, travel, go to church on Sunday, busy ourselves with activities, jobs and families the rest of the week until the day we leave this Earth, staying in our comfortable bubble. Which is fine.

But please, don't tell me that "anyone could choose to have a different life if they wanted to". Saying someone can pull themselves out of poverty is like saying one of these abandoned children can have parents... If they really wanted some. Each and every one of us are where we are in our life because we have "stepped on the shoulders" of many people before us (likely generations), not just because we've "worked hard". I've been to Haiti, and if people could be rich by working hard, it would be one of the wealthiest countries in the world. We are where we are today not because we did it on our own, but because of support and love from individuals around us.

As I sat cross-legged on a concrete floor, cuddling babies in a hot orphanage halfway across the world from my own home, I felt God breaking my heart. He began showing me just a tiny glimmer of the love He feels for these precious kids. A love that feels their pain, that cries with them and laughs with them. A love that opens your eyes to hurt all around you, and adds fuel to the fire God has placed within each human to fight injustice. A love that I asked Him to pour into these kids through me being his hands, though I am not worthy. I knew in my heart it would fade away soon after I left, that these babies need forever homes where they will receive love every day. But I wanted so desperately to do all that I possibly could, knowing God placed me there for a reason, but He could be using anyone else.

I'm thankful for a broken heart tonight.

And I challenge you to have yours broken as well.